[福利资源] 心理学知识200条，读完你会更强大

沁颍

12、【心灵排毒的5个贴士】1、自我合理宣泄，找人倾诉、痛哭和写日记；2、情志转移，把注意力转移到平时感兴趣和喜欢的事上；3、自我理性升华，看书，看好电影，接触自己喜欢的人，充实自己的内心世界；4、适度让步，退一步海阔天空，给自己心理上的解脱；5、自我遗忘，忘记不愉快的事情。

文太长，只能贴链接了：

http://yyemannvyou.blog.163.com/ ... edreading&wumii

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

沁颍

看到过去发的一个帖子，值得一读，特别翻上来。。。本来有阅读限制，去掉了。。。

沁颍

Cognitive Behavioral Tools
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEsYiCDoJks

这个是6个讲座里面的第5个，全部6个：
http://www.youtube.com/playlist? ... t1wELU2uRqRWh407wZ2

Thoughts-Feelings-behaviors

Thoughts:
1) Be able to objectively observe your thoughts.
2) Remember thoughts aren't facts
3) Know how thoughts trigger feelings
4) Be able to shift perspectives.
5) Be aware of and shift negative/critical/emotionally abusive self talk
6) Noticing where your mind goes and bring it back to the present moment
7) To be more effective in the moment, accept reality and decreasing thoughts and what-it's

Feelings:  
1) Increase emotion regulation skills
2) Be able to notice emotions with out pushing them away or making them longer than useful
3) Remember emotions are infos not facts
4) Remember emotions are sth you have, they are not who you are
5) Notice and practice the emotions that you want to feel more often
6) be able to sit with and accept some anxiety

Behaviors
1) Be able to chose your behaviors
  -Create space between impulse and action, so you can make an effective choice.
  -Behaviors can trigger emotions.
2) Be able to take accountability = objectively observe your behavior & consequence, take responsibility for your part.
  - Decrease habite of shame, minimize, denial, blame
3) Chose behaviors consistent with the person you want to be and more toward your ideal self.

STOP: A Short Mindfulness Practice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhwQvEGmF_I

Relaxing Mindfulness Meditation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKqEzX1hr4k

http://www.chineseonboard.com/fo ... =%C0%EE%BC%CE%B3%CF

奔3，奔4，奔5人士请读，条条经典！
http://www.chineseonboard.com/forum/thread-243237-1-1.html

修炼强大的内心
http://www.360doc.com/content/10/0720/23/0_40419278.shtml

子卿

有些挺有道理的…………

沁颍

21天养成一个好习惯 （转贴）
第一阶段：1～7天左右。此阶段的特征是“刻意，不自然”。你需要十分刻意提醒自己改变，而你也会觉得有些不自然，不舒服。
第二阶段：7～21天左右。不要放弃第一阶段的努力，继续重复，跨入第二阶段。此阶段的特征是“刻意，自然”。你已经觉得比较自然，比较舒服了，但是一不留意，你还会回复到从前，因此，你还需要刻意提醒自己改变。
第三阶段：21～90天左右。此阶段的特征是“不经意，自然”，其实这就是习惯。这一阶段被称为“习惯的稳定期”。一旦跨入此阶段，你已经完成了自我改造，这项习惯就已经成为你生命中的一个有机组成部分，它会自然而然地为你“效劳”。
心理学家研究指出，一项看似简单的行动，如果你能坚持重复21天以上，你就会形成习惯；如果坚持重复90天以上，就会形成稳定习惯；如果能坚持重复365天以上，你想改变都很困难。同理，一个想法，重复21天，或重复验证21次，就会变成习惯性的想法。
这就是“21天好习惯培养法”的设计原理，其具体要点如下：
①坚持这个习惯21天。
②让自己清楚地了解到新习惯带来的好处，因为感情远远比理性的强迫更有动力。
③把它当作一个试验。像一位科学家一样，把培养习惯当作一次尝试，而非一个心理斗争。这将有助于集中对待，随时调整和正确对待结果。
④远离危险区。远离那些可能再次触发你旧习惯的地方。
⑤用更好的东西替代你失去的东西，如果你戒掉了烟，虽然你失去了香烟的享受，但是你却得到了无价的健康。
⑥将计划写在纸上，并告诉你的朋友，给自己一种压力。
⑦保持简单。建立习惯的要求只需要几条就可以了，保持简单，从而更容易坚持。
⑧不要追求完美。一步一步地做起，不要指望一次就全部改变。

沁颍

这是在网上看到的一段话，觉得说的很不错，贴在下面：

爱说刻薄话是因为：
内心缺少爱和温暖，即便想做正向表达也很难做到。这种情况的形成和童年的家庭环境、成长环境有很大影响。

如何建立宽容的心理环境(ZT)？

1、与过去达成和解

《心灵捕手》里面有句话说：这不是你的错，这不是你的错。
你要知道，你的刻薄，也不是你的错，是历史留在你身上的印记，你无法否认，无法逃避，并且，你越是逃避，越是否定，他就越是如影相随，你越是想摆脱，他就越是深刻。所有的负面能量，都会用负面能量来彼此滋养，你越是憎恶，他就越是强大。

解决的唯一办法，是于过去的自己达成和解，理解他，包容他——你感受得到的，那个暴戾的【我】是多么的痛苦，多么的委屈，他本象你一样健康，但却承担了你成长过程中的阴影，而变得扭曲。他，带你受过，你不可以嫌弃他，你要拥抱她，把它带到阳光下，让他和朋友们述说一下自己内心的苦楚，讲出来，把过去所有的阴影都和最知心的朋友讲出来，这就是接受自己的行动，多讲几次，你会发现你内心舒展很多，好受很多。

2、原谅那些伤害你的人

那些伤害你的人，你要知道，他们不是故意的。因为他们的水平和层次就是这样的，如果他们曾经不小心或者故意伤害了你，那是因为他们没有更大的能量用好的方法来解决这个问题。

在肖申克的救赎中有这样的台词：宽恕（原谅？记不清了）比杀戮更高贵（大概这个意思吧，记不清了）
在对待你生命中出现的人的时候，我们要问这样一个问题：我憎恨他，是否能够改变历史？又是否会让我变得更好？如果不能，那么我为什么要做对自己无益的事情？

去找到那些伤害你的人，重谈旧事，然后淡淡的说一声，我原谅你了，甚至连这句都不说——如果能够做到，你就是真的过了这一关了。

3、细数你收到过的温暖

列一个list，记录下来你生命中接收到的每一个温暖，清楚的记录下来，并在脑海中回放当时的情况。

4、给别人帮助和温暖

哪怕是帮助路人指路，去感受给予、奉献带给自己的成就和快乐的这种感觉。从而让你感受到：付出比索取更快乐，爱比恨更快乐。

5、措辞修正，习惯养成

当你逐步建设到这一步的时候，就不断的发现和纠正你平时的刻薄语言（因为如果你内心不积累这样的正能量，你是没有能力使自己做这样的改变的，做了也是扬汤止沸），如有改进，则重复对自己进行正向激励，再配合21天习惯养成法。

zhoujin

我相信一见钟情,但不相信会发在我身上= =

我觉得与朋友说这些事是一种渲涉,所以不妨多与朋友聊天.

举个例子,我一同学,跟婆婆处不来,但她说出来,她婆婆不喜欢,跟老公讲,老公没反应,然后她为了息事宁人,就不再说了,现在得了结肠炎----心理问题很容易转嫁到身体上特别是得肠胃相关的疾病,她觉得自己非常抑郁要等抑郁症了.

还有一同学,同样跟婆婆处不来,她每次看到婆婆不对的,就会当面指出来,因为她妈妈教她:有什么一定要说出来,虽然这种态度开始可能不讨人喜欢,但是你不用抑郁在心里,对你对大家都好.所以她常常跟婆婆吵,但是身体倍儿健康.

我不是说一定要跟婆婆对着干,只是想强调"说出来"的效果

所以我觉得忍不住愤怒的时候口出恶言其实并没有什么,至少你是表达了,只是事后知道自己不对一定要道歉,而且慢慢要学着换一种比较婉转的说法,这样就没事了

zhoujin

我相信一见钟见,但不相信会发生在

沁颍

Designing a Mind Power Program

John Kehoe talks about:
"Mind Power Training"

If you were to do every Mind Power technique shared in the Mind Power Into the 21st Century book for five minutes every day, you’d probably need an hour and a half a day to complete them, and that’s simply too much time. In our modern, busy, active lives time is precious and needs to be used wisely. That’s why I suggest you limit yourself to twenty to thirty minutes a day. This is sufficient time to see dramatic results in a relatively short amount of time, and yet very doable, even for the busiest person.

You have to work to see results with Mind Power. It’s not a magic wand. Mind Power is a practice not a philosophy, and there are very few practices that will guarantee you results from just twenty to thirty minutes a day, so we’re fortunate to have these techniques.

Some exercises can be general and others specific. For example, you could have a general exercise on abundant health and a specific one to help with your sore back. Or a general one on an abundance of money and a specific one on closing an important deal with one of your customers.

Designing your own personal Mind Power program is like painting a canvas. There are a few basic rules of composition and color, but after that each artist paints in his or her own particular way. The paintings of Picasso and Rembrandt are radically different from one another, yet both are recognized as masters of their craft. So too can you be a master of Mind Power in your own unique way; all you need are the desire and a willingness to put time in every day thinking in this new and exciting way.

Having personally taught this system to over two million individuals, I have a great deal of firsthand experience with the different ways people use Mind Power. Each person is different, and this is one of the strengths of Mind Power—it will suit your particular style and character. Some people use a diversity of techniques, while others use only one or two. I know individuals who have achieved great success using only the affirmation technique and nothing else. While using just one technique would be too restrictive and limiting for me, it worked for them and that’s all that counts. I am a big believer in RESULTS! So feel free to design your own system.

I personally like to spend approximately five minutes on each exercise I give myself. So if I devote between twenty to thirty minutes, that’s four to six exercises daily. I also like to assign myself a weekly program, whereby I stick to the same exercises all week. At the end of each week I review my exercises and alter them as feels appropriate. The mind likes diversity, and changing exercises week by week often spurs one on. The important thing is to make sure you’re doing some exercises every day.

Let’s assume you’ve chosen an appropriate goal and you’ve committed yourself to doing twenty to thirty minutes a day for a ninety-day period. A possible Mind Power scenario might look something like this:

WEEK 1
5 minutes visualizing your goal
5 minutes affirming your goal
10 minutes on subconscious exercises for guidance
5 minutes acknowledging your strengths and creating a success vibration

WEEK 2
5 minutes visualizing your goal
5 minutes affirming your goal
5 minutes contemplating the importance of success
5 minutes on self-image
5 minutes acknowledging your strengths

WEEK 3
5 minutes visualizing your goal
5 minutes imprinting new beliefs
5 minutes contemplating your personal power to create
10 minutes on self-image
5 minutes of affirmations

So while your goal remains the same, the exercises can vary week by week. Each new week becomes a new work in progress, and our life is our canvas. The key is to keep doing the exercises, remembering that what you focus on you attract. Mind Power gives us techniques to focus on our goals.

- See more at: http://www.learnmindpower.com/us ... thash.QendoY1S.dpuf

沁颍

The Subconscious Mind

John Kehoe talks about:
"The Subconscious Mind"

While most of us are aware that we have something called a subconscious mind within us, there are very few of us who know much more than that about it, let alone how to harness it. This is unfortunate, for your subconscious mind can and should be a great ally in achieving success in your life.  All you need do is to establish a working relationship with your subconscious mind. In order to do this, one must become conscious and familiar with this hidden, mysterious aspect of ourselves, and the role it plays in our life.

One of the ways we can do this is by affirming to ourselves for several minutes each day, “My subconscious mind is my partner in success.” By doing this we are re-educating ourselves as to the fact that we possess a second powerful mind, and that it is our partner in success. Becoming conscious of our subconscious, and moving beyond thinking of it as some abstract concept or figment of our imagination is an important step.

The second step is to be aware of how our conscious and subconscious minds work together, to learn the functions and roles of each. The subconscious has two main functions in our life. The first function is to attract to us conditions and circumstances according to the predominant thought patterns that reside within it. My reoccurring mantra is, “What you focus on you attract.” Now with this new subconscious information, you can begin to understand why this is true. Your subconscious mind is not limited in any way and will forever attract to you according to your thoughts. It has no volition of its own and will simply act upon what resides and vibrates within.

Further to this, your subconscious mind will act upon any request or instruction you give it. Any thought that is repeated over and over again will take an imprint within the subconscious, which cannot distinguish between what is real and what is imagined. This is why visualizations, affirmations and repeated images can have such a powerful effect in our life. By doing these exercises we are creating images within ourselves which the subconscious then acts upon.

Our conscious mind is the guardian to the gates of the subconscious. It is the conscious mind’s role to make sure that only the highest quality thoughts gain entrance to the subconscious. When we fully understand that whatever thoughts and beliefs gain entrance to the subconscious will eventually manifest in our life, we become very diligent in monitoring and directing our thoughts.

- See more at: http://www.learnmindpower.com/us ... thash.URsHCUwP.dpuf

沁颍

Eliminating Negative Thinking

John Kehoe talks about:
"Negatives"

Having a successful life and achieving your goals are skills that everyone can learn using Mind Power. To do so, the most important point you need to remember is: What you focus on you attract. Simply put, you train your mind to think about what you want in life, and you avoid thinking about what you don’t want. Worry, fear, negative thinking, these are all allowing the mind to focus on what you don’t want. Not only does this drain your energy but it is counterproductive. That is why fear is so destructive and why despair and hopelessness must be avoided. They are in many ways Mind Power in reverse.

So how do we eliminate this negative thinking? The first step is to recognize the importance of eliminating them, and the second step is to be aware when negatives are happening to us.

Now you can’t avoid negative thinking entirely. Sometimes negative thoughts just pop into our mind. What we can do, however, is to be vigilant and aware, so that we immediately recognize when we are thinking negatively. And when we catch ourselves thinking negative thoughts we can use any of these techniques:

1)  Change the negative thought into a positive one. For example, if you are worried and focusing on what could go wrong in a situation, change your thoughts to what could go right. The mind can only think one thought at a time; so changing the negative into a positive eliminates the negative.

2) Use an affirmation. Begin affirming to yourself something positive and self-supporting. The mind will focus on what you are repeating to yourself.

3) Use humour and fun. We get very serious and stressed when we’re thinking negative thoughts. Think of something funny to change the energy, or do something fun like going to a movie or having a night out with friends. Don’t let your negative thoughts have power over you. Be proactive in eliminating them.

4) Remind yourself that the negative thought you are thinking is “only a negative thought.” It has no power other than what you give it. Negatives gain momentum from your thinking them over and over again. So stop thinking them.

The key is to be diligent in monitoring what you are thinking, to catch the negatives before they have time to become entrenched. With practice you will notice right away when you are thinking negatives, and you then can take the appropriate actions. The mind is a creature of habit, so encourage positive thoughts and eliminate negative ones. You wouldn’t allow stinking garbage to build up in your house without taking action. Likewise don’t let negative thinking build up in the inner sanctuary of your mind. We are responsible for the thoughts we think. Take action to eliminate negative thinking.

- See more at: http://www.learnmindpower.com/us ... thash.JKdZMxCF.dpuf

沁颍

欢迎楼上的亲们，呵呵
The Power of Positive thinking by Tony Robbins
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWFObD9XsmE

小黄瓜花

【从网络聊天习惯读懂一个人】原来喜欢用“……”和“。。。”的人心底大多比较柔软，没有坏心眼，同时也会反映出他她对待事情的优柔寡断，大部分会有选择恐惧症。。。
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我最喜欢用。。。了……

昕雨

訓練自己勇敢 就會慢慢堅強勇敢--我還在學習這門功課XD

同沙發  我也很喜歡LZ的分享

沁颍

多谢楼上2位亲的参与。

我找了一篇文，贴在下面：

How to Deal With Betrayal

Edited by Molly, Leetemerald, BR, Kofi Wearmouth and 7 others

Surviving a betrayal takes a lot of strength and discipline. There are many things you can do to help you get back on track, but you need to be willing to put in the effort. If you have been hurt and are looking for successful ways to deal with a betrayal, then try the following steps.

1）Let yourself become emotional, and then let it go. Cry if that is all you want to do. Get the feeling of hurt and anger out of your system. It is important for you to release negative emotions if you want to cope with betrayal. But don't prolong the agony and allow the mourning period to consume you. Get it out of your system and move on.

2）Set some goals for yourself. Write down all the things that you want to do in your life and accomplish, and start working on making them happen. If there is a career path you wish to pursue, start working toward that. By doing this, you are refocusing your mind on to something that is more important than the betrayal. Surviving a betrayal means setting your mind on building a better life and future.

3）Find ways to enhance your personal development. Begin an exercise regimen that will not only keep you healthy and fit, it will provide you with an outlet to dispel any negative feelings that surface periodically. Take up a new hobby like ballroom dancing, hunting or hiking. The idea is to find yourself again, build confidence and recognize that a bad situation like a betrayal can lead to good.

4）Cope with betrayal by finding motivation in inspirational and empowerment books and CDs. Also, spend your time with positive people. If you surround yourself with motivational outlets, then you will be more excited about life; you will be more inclined to put your negative experience behind you and be optimistic about the future.

5）Understand that the process of dealing with a betrayal is not an easy one to undertake. There will be moments in which you will relapse, but that does not mean that you are failing. Whenever you do feel distressed, turn to a motivational resource, specifically a friend who likes to listen first and then pull you out of your rut. Don't let these moments of weakness consume you, however. They can become emotionally draining for both you and the friend who is there to support you.

下面的文是讲训练积极思维的，太长了，看链接：
http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTCS_06.htm